CHAPTER 4 VACHIHERA Kuchechi musi uyu hakwaikwanisika kuendeka nekuda kwezvandakanga ndasangana nazvo mambakwedza plus handaingakwanisa kusiya baba vega vari muchinhanho chavaiva. Ummm moyo wangu waiva wakaremerwa zvikuru nenyaya yandakanga ndaudzwa iyi. Ndaingopishana nepfungwa ndichibika kasadza. Ndichingofunga kuti zvanga zvichazonyatsodii pamberi apo, ko iro ropa ravo rakatorwa hazvina zvimwe zvazvaizotikanganisira here? Ndakabva ndayeuka kuti ndaiva ndakanganwa kubvunzazve kuti pasuro yakanzi yaiva pasi pomubhedha wedu yaiva yechii. Ndakabva ndambosiya kasadza kachikwata ndavakumbonovabvunza. Ndakapinda mumba ndichitotanga kutaura, " Ko ndazenge ndakangawaka kubvunza kuti pasuro yakanzi yaiva pasi pomubhedha wedu...." Ndakatozonyarara ndaona kuti ndaitotaura ndega. Ndakangofunga kuti vaiva vapinda havo mubathroom raitova mubedroom makare imomo. Ndakabva ndadzokera mukitchen kunopedzisa kubika sadza. Ndapedza kubika sadza ndakadzokerazve kubedroom kuya asi ndakashamisika kuona kuti vakanga vasati vadzoka. Ndakafambisa ndichinovhura mutoilet wanike hamuna munhu. Ndakabuda panze ndavakungodaidza asi hakuna aidavira. Zvino hana yakachitanga kurova ndichishaya kuti vaiva vaendepi chaizvo. Ndakaenda pamisha yaiva pedyo newedu ndichinobvunza kana pane aiva avaonawo asi vose vaingoti vaiva vasina kuvaona. Pandakazotaura kuti vaiva vasirikunzwa mushe vanhu ndopavakatanga kundibatsira kuvatsvaga asi takavashaya. Ndakadzokera kumba ndichiti ndinofonera vana ndivazivise kuti ndozvaivapo. Ndakabva ndasvikirana nemota yemukwasha ndikatoshama kuti mwanasikana wangu akanga azobvuma sei kuuya nemurambiro waaiva amboita uya.Pandasvika pamota ndopandakazoona kuti aingova mukwasha oga zvikandinetsa. Me: " Eeee titambireka nhai Mhazi matifungawo nhasi?" Daniel: " Muchitambireiko nhai mhai? " Akadaro mukwasha. Me: " Totambira kunyangwe nehupenyu mwanangu. Kutoonana kudai nyama neropa zviri pamwe dzitori nyasha." Daniel: " Ichokwadi mhai." Akapindura achivhura bhuti remota raiva rakazara nemapasuro. Me:" Maita Shumba, maita Mhazi, Mwari wekudenga vakuwedzerei pamatapudza."Ndakadaro ndichitambira pasuro dzavaiva vauya nadzo. Takadungamidzana tichipinda mumba kwaakubvunzana upenyu. Daniel: " Asi muri mega nhai Amai uye kwakanaka here nhasi kwamarovha kuchechi?" Ndisati ndadavira akaenderera mberi nekubvunza. " Saka baba vangu vatoendazve vogaka kuchechi?" Me: " Kwete mwanangu, Baba havasikunzwa mushe ndozvatirovhesa kusvondo nhasi. Kwakanakawo here kwamauya moga?" Daniel: " Ndangokufungaiwo hangu Amai,Kwakanaka chose. Varipi Baba ndivakwazise?" Ndakashaya kuti ndopindura kuti chii ndobva ndazongoti, " Zviripano zvakaoma mwanangu, Baba vako vasoobuda maawa matatu adarika apa havana kutaura kuti vanga vachiendepi. Tatsvaga kusvika taneta. Kutaura kuno ndakatopererwa ende handichatozova zvekuita." Daniel: " Manga manetsana here Amai?" Akabvunza mukwasha. Me: " Kwete mwanangu hatina kunetsana kungoti zvakawanda zvinonetsa mukurarama uku." Matarisirwo andakaitwa naDaniel aiva ekutoratidza kuti aiva atozvibata kuti ndine zvandaivanza. Akabva ati, "Mati vangaendepi nhai Amai ,vanodzoka musatya. Anyway Amai ndine nyaya irikundishungirudza zvikuru saka ndauya kuti pada ndingawane mhinduro kumibvunzo yangu." Hana yangu yakarova kuti chakanga chava chiizve chainge choda kutaurwa nemukwasha. Zvakanga zvineni zvomusi uyu uye ndakatoziva kuti whatever it was, it had something to do naChido. Handina kudavira ndakangogutsurira kuti aenderere mberi. Daniel: " Nhai Amai, pane here zvimwe zvinhu zvakaitika zvine chekuita nerufu rwemwana wangu zvandisina kuudzwa because bitterness ina Vimbiso towards you and Baba yakanyanyisa?" Akabvunza akanyatsonditarisa kumeso. Hamawe chitaurirwa hunyimwa mbare dzekumusana. Ndakanzwa kutsva muviri wangu wose zvokuti I couldn't take it anymore. Ndakangosimuka kwaakungoti, " Ndinodzoka zvino zvino mwanangu." Ndakadaro ndichitobuda. VIMBISO Kubva kubuda kwakaita Daniel ndakasara ndisina kana power. Zvaizonofamba seiko kumba ikoko. Ndakange ndavakuona kuti chokwadi chiya chakanga chava kuzobuda pachena. Murume wangu aiva munhu aivenga nhema zvikuru. The magnitude of that lie had dire consequences. Ndaitoona my perfect family yaparara. Ndaizovei pasina Daniel. Ndiri mukufunga kudaro ndopakarira phone yangu. Ndakamhanya kunodaira thinking aiva hubby. Ndopandakaona kuti vaiva mama vangu. Zvavakataura zvakandishatirisa chaizvo, Baba vaida kuti ndiuye vachiti vanezvavaida kutaura pamwe nekukumbira ruregerero. Ndakaramba ini because zvaizondiputsira imba yangu uye hazvaizodzosa mwana wangu kuvapenyu. Ndopandakazonzwa Baba vaakutaura pafoni. Ndakasvotwa kwazvo ndikavaudza kuti he should go to hell. Baba vangu ndakanga ndavavenga zvikurusa. Ndakangobiwa nehope ndichipishana nepfungwa kudaro ndokurota baba vangu vakamira murwizi rwukuru kwazvo. Vainge vakanditarisa vachichema. Ndakaona kuchibva mawaves aityisa ndikaedza kuvaudza kuti vabude mumvura asi vakaramba vakangonditarisa, vakabva vabatanidza maoko avo sekunge munhu aikumbira ruregerero, ndokubva vazosimudza ruoko rwavo vachiita sign yegoodbye. Mafungu aya akangovaputira zvekuti handina kuzovaonazve. Ndakatanga kuchema ndakapfugama pasi ndichivadaidza uye ndichidaidzira kutsvaga rubatsiro asi hazvina kubatsira. Ndakatozopatika nekuzunguzwa kwandakaitwa naMati. Mati: " Mum are you ok? Ndakangomutarisa ndichishaya kuti arikumbotii. "You were day dreaming mum and I think it was scary." Me: " Why are you saying that?" Mati: " You were crying and shouting for help." Me: " Oooh I see, don't mind it. It was just a silly dream. We will talk later sweetheart let mama rest for a while." Akangonditarisa nemaziso airatidza kusagutsikana ndobva aakubuda hake. Moyo wangu wakarwadziwa ndobva ndamudzosa ava padoor kwaakumutakura mumaoko angu ndobva ndati, " Nomatter what happens in the future dear, just know mama will always love you." Ndavakumutsveta pasi akabva andisvetukira achinditsvoda padama. Akabva abuda hake. Ndakadzokera hangu pamubhedha ndichingofunga nezvehope dziya. Ndaingonetsekana kuti zvairevei chaizvo, was he ok? Ndakazoedza kubvisa pfungwa idzi nekuita hangu thorough cleaning. Kwapera chinguva ndakaona amai vachifona vachindiudza nezvekushaikwa kwababa. Ndakapindwa nekutya kukuru ndikazongoona ndavakuchema. Though I had cut ties with my father I realised that a certain part of me still loved him. PASTOR MAVISE Ndakasara ndichifunga zvakawanda VaChihera pavakabuda kunobika breakfast. Ndakanga ndavati vabike kari kasadza kuseni ikoko around 10am. Mashoko aVimbiso airatidza kuti ainge andivenga zvikuru saka ndakafunga kuzadzisa chido chemwana wangu andakanga ndarwadzisa zvisina mukare akamboona. Zvichida rufu rwangu rwaizotapudza shungu dzake. Ndakatora bepa nepen kwaakunyora tsamba ndichireirura zvose nekukumbira ruregerero. Ndakaipeta zvakanaka ndokunyora zita raDaniel pamusoro ndobva ndaiisa pakati peBible rangu . Ndakanyorazve imwe tsamba ndichitsanangurira Amai zvavaifanira kuzoita nemari iya yaSatan. Ndakabva ndabva pamba nekanzira kekuseri kaisawanzoshandiswa. Ndakasvika pachikomo chaiva padyo nemisha chaiva nematombo akagadzirwa zvakanaka kwazvo . Hakuna munhu aikuona kana wakagara pakati pematombo aya uye ndiyo nzvimbo yandaiwanzouya kana ndichida kanguva kangu ndoga naMwari. Ndakaita munamato wangu wekupedzisira ndakapfugama ndichiti, " Mwari waAbraham , Isaac naJacob ndinouya pamberi penyu muzita raTenzi Jesu Kristo. Handina kufanira kuuya patsoka dzenyu nenzira yakadai nekuda kwehuipi hwangu. Munoziva kutendeka nekurevesa kwandaiva nako mubasa renyu asi nemhaka yekutadza kugutsikana nepamaiva mandipa napo ndakashuva zvizhinji. Kunyangwe ndakazviita ndichifunga kuti zvaizoitwa negwara rakajeka ndakazokundikana pasarudzo yandakazoita nekuda kwekutya. Ndakaparazve mhaka huru nekutambudza mweya usina mhosva urikudzungaira urimo mutorongo uchiripira mhaka yangu. Mundiregererewo Mwari I failed to stand as a true ambassador. Ndimi mupi wehupenyu ndimizve munotora asi ndasarudza nzira yaJudas yekuzviuraya inova nzira yakatukwa.I can't hide the truth anymore and I also have no courage to face the wrath of the world. Zvakawanda zvandisiri ready for . Ndinovimba zvakanaka zvandakaita zvichadzima huipi hwandakaita. Forgive me Father in Jesus's Name, Amen. " Ndakatora kachipepa kangu kemushonga wemakonzo ndokunwa nemvura yaiva mukabhodhoro. Pasina chinguva ndakanzwa kuti hupenyu hwavakutobuda. Ndakavhunduka ndichinzwa izwi riya re that evil mysterious man richiti, " Wazvisarudzira nzira yakareruka yekunzvenga nyaya dzako asi nekuda kwekuti ropa rako ndoririkuyererazve mutsinga dzevana vako ifa uchiziva kuti mhuri yako ndakatoitsaura for my dark kingdom. Your death will not hinder my purpose." Ndakabva ndarangarira Psalms 115:9 (O Israel, trust thou in the LORD: he is their help and their shield)ndobva ndangoti mumoyo, " Lord Jesus Christ may you be my family's shield." All I could now see and feel was intense thick darkness and tormenting silence as the soul and body bid each other farewell. *end of chapter*